I am a few months away from finally being able to hold my first book in my hands, and I can’t wait, but why am I also feeling SO much anxiety? This is exactly what I prayed for years ago, yet there’s an overwhelming fear. Is this normal?

ALIENS

Naturally, I overthink a lot, and I admit I have irrational fears from time to time. For example, after watching a documentary on aliens, whenever it was dark outside, I would sprint to my car, lock the door as fast as possible, and glance up at the sky. This went on for a few days. Am I crazy? Absolutely not! But the possibility of encountering a UFO—or worse, getting abducted—had me acting this way. Go ahead, I give you permission to laugh. I am laughing as I type this.

FEAR

So, what does this have to do with publishing my first book? EVERYTHING. It’s recognizing the possibility of everything going wrong. It’s possible no one will like it. It’s possible that only my family and friends will buy it. I struggle with the fear of failure, and that is probably why I am finally attempting to do what I love at 44.

MINDSET SHIFT

My husband enjoys working out. I do not. He started telling me about these pep talks he would listen to in his car before entering the gym. At first, I said, “Um, yeah, I don’t need Arnold Schwarzenneger yelling at me before I go pump iron.”

But then one day, I decided to search for other kinds of pep talks, and I found a few that piqued my interest. They were about changing what you believe about yourself, your purpose on this earth, your future, and what gifts you have. I gravitated towards these topics, especially the notion that everyone is born with a gift. Oftentimes, we spend our lives working a job without truly knowing our gift. Our gift is what comes easily to us. It’s what makes us jump out of bed excited for the day. I started to believe that one of my gifts was writing.

My mindset shifted, and I started to believe anything was POSSIBLE. I also leaned into my faith in God like I never had before.

PASSION

It had been years since I wrote for the mere pleasure of writing. Most of the writing I did was for work. My days were spent writing stories, essays, and constructed responses for assessments with students. I was writing, but the purpose was to instruct and give feedback. Now, don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed the process of brainstorming with kids and trying to make it fun- but at the end of the day, it was work, and it felt like work.

Now, I am writing for the joy of it. When inspiration strikes, I find myself racing home to write. I stay up way past my bedtime reading about other authors, their stories, and their process. I find there aren't enough hours in the day to do all the things I want to when it comes to discovering new picture books, Latine authors, the self-publishing world, and crafting better stories.

Here we are. I’m on the brink of publishing my first picture book and feeling all the emotions. The only way I can describe it is like this:

Buckling up with excitement and hope,

with each click upwards, my heart beats

I raise my hands, trusting in Him.

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My WHY

I have always enjoyed writing. My parents kept my stories and poems from elementary. As I read them now, I am not sure I was any good; however, I do remember getting excited about a blank page and the possibilities it could hold. I’m starting this Substack to nurture the part of me that enjoys writing and to bring you along on the journey of publishing my first picture book inspired by my bicultural upbringing.

Who is this Newsletter For

• First-time authors

• Self-Published authors

• Traditionally Published authors

• You Love Picture Books

• Teachers

• Librarians

• Parents who love books

Newsletter

I plan to send out a newsletter once a month. I will write about what I am learning as I prepare to publish my upcoming picture book. I am no expert, but hopefully, through this, I can connect with others, and we can all learn from each other.

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